As my 35th birthday approaches, I have learned a few interesting and some valuable lessons from both women and men. Some of the lessons were learned a while ago, but didn't make sense until now, other lessons have come in the last year or two. So I figured some of this stuff was worth sharing.... I can't say I would have believed most of it before now, but that didn't stop it from being a reality... Here goes :-)
1. Life will constantly give you opportunities to succeed, you just have to constantly expect them and go for it.
2. Right before something amazing happens to you, usually something very powerful and painful happens to you too, make sure you keep pushing through the painful part and expect something amazing to follow.
3. No matter how many people enjoy your company, you never really know your true friends until the party has ended and the work of friendship begins.
4. Never be afraid to restructure your life and the people in it, the longer you take to do whats best for you, the longer you wait to live your best life.
5. Stop allowing what you think others think about you to guide how you feel about yourself.... Everyone has experienced baggage, heartache and even issues with self-esteem.. If you remember to follow number 4, 5 will come with more ease.
6. Remember most people are opportunist, both women and men, unfortunately women, are just better able to conceal it. Men are obvious. Be observant and careful, but never be afraid.
7. A wise guy once said, " never chase/run after the game, let the game come to you."
8. A wiser women said, " Never confuse recreation with a relationship."
9. If your family (mom, dad, aunts, uncles grandparents) gets a strong negative vibe about the person your dating, its a red flag, even if it isn't clear when they say it..... you can almost put money on it's accurateness. Go ahead and exit stage left!
10. Always give yourself room to make mistakes, learn to forgive you and it will make it easier to forgive the mistakes of others.
11. Forgiveness doesn't mean they have to occupy the same space that they did before, it just releases you and the other party involved to live on purpose and to live in peace.
12. If you do the right thing, right will follow you. Even if you can't see the story unfolding it is working for your good.
13. You deserve it! You plant seeds everyday in expectation that one day you will harvest everything you've planted, so when the good you planted down through the years comes up, embrace it, don't be afraid of it and live the life you have always imagined. :-)
Love, Peace, and Comic Relief,
Tameka
This blog will give you a peek into the life of a consummate witty witness! If I saw it, I definitely saw the humor in it as well.....Let's laugh together!!!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
What I learned from Kandi Koated Nights........
Earlier this week, I was invited by a good friend to attend a live Kandi Koated Nights Show. At first I was skeptical, thinking that it would be another typical Atlanta scene with people overdressed, underemployed and honestly "flexin". But needless to say upon the urging of my friend and my boo, I went on......
After arriving I was pleasantly surprised at the vibe of the crowd, the staff and the shows hosts, who were all super cool and great fun to interact with.... To my utmost pleasure, the topic of the show was "Should you tell if you catch a friend's significant other cheating?" Now if this wasn't a juicy enough topic..... The guests for the evenings panel discussion were none other than the infamous Karlie Redd, and the (contrary to LHHA) very dainty & sophisticated Mimi Faust, as well as the Ying Yang twins.... In an effort to not spoil the Monday night viewing parties that we have all grown to enjoy... I'll tell you what I have learned from those ladies and men in a nutshell.
Mimi shared that, when taping the show, she was not always privy to what was going on with others on the show. The misconception is that they are allowed to preview the show before it hits the tv, but they don't. They actually watch it every Monday night like everyone else..... so although she knows what she knows about her dude.... She didn't know as much as we felt she did at the time.... Hell Monday's are a trip for her to watch too!
She was asked was the perfect picture of "Stebie's" photogenic penis an accurate depiction of what he's working with... and in the tradition of any properly raised woman she deflected the answer and said something unrelated to the question..... (side-eye),
She was asked has she let the man cheat on her for 15 years... She said, they were long distance for a period of their relationship, in the same household for 4years or so, and the man that she knew and loved wasn't the dude that we see today "puttin on for the camera". (I don't know if I buy that completely)
I asked her personally ( yep I did) now that she is seeing the A ( Atlanta) from a new perspective, does she want to remain in our city and her answer was Yes.... She thinks that it is a great place to live and raise her daughter. ( I still think that she should reconsider..... I suggest, a state marriage and family friendly, unless of course she moves to Augusta or Columbus like Stebie suggested, when he bought her that crib on the SC border...
My verdict on Mimi: I like her, she says, she has no regrets about doing the show... You live and you learn. To me her story was Good Girl, falls for semi-bad boy who made some money and lost his damn mind.... She is no dummy by a longshot, beautiful woman, with a cool vibe, just made her choices.... and allowed a camera to chronicle the tail end of a romance gone wrong! ( She is brave, much more than I would be)
Karlie Redd- Man where do I start, She appeared to be a pretty messy person, but in a innocent kind of way.... her problem, even last night is that she talks tooo much. I don't know that you can last in an industry like hip hop with a big mouth. Loose Lips still sink ships, and although LHHA makes it look like she is manipulative and makes "Titanic" iceberg size comments, I think she might be the scape goat cause she won't be quiet.... As my grandma use to say " when you talk alot baby, people don't won't you around them." Karlie can learn alot from my grandma.... lol
BTW: She said she never slept with her boyfriend Antonio Reid ( after year long courtship).... But she knocked off Benzino( after a what a day or two) and he is just ok..... ( he quickly called in to the show to get that record set straight LOL).... I just hope at her age all of this mess is worth it.... Cause being clowned regularly, alledgedly screwing for studio time and wearing booty pads gotta be hard for a lady in her 40's..... (side eye, but you are "bout that life" LMAO)
Ying Yang Twins... I don't know who is Ying or who is Yang, but one of them needs an IEP with 10 hours a week of speech, I was like WTH are you saying my brothers? Can you sing that ish or put it in a hook? Cause your English is "non-existent" I said now they are taking this Zone 3 sh1t to another level.... ( Side eye and 1 phrase Rosetta Stone- Ying Yang edition) But I bet the new CD will be "FIE" LOL
Kandi was a awesome host, she was cool, down to earth, very pretty in person and has a cool panel around her on the show so kudos to you Ms. Kandi for doing what you do....
What I have learned:
1. You can't every judge a book by it's cover, Reality TV is the phoniest sh1t out!
2. Stevie J is proof positive that the quote " Don't raise you voice, improve your argument." works...... Men, are creatures of habit, they do what works."
3. Ladies...for every Mimi there is a Joseline.... You can't out race a female for a man.... There is new competition turning 18 everyday.....So if he hasn't decided that he wants you and you alone..... there isn't a damn thing you can do to change that.... Save your face and your rep.... let it go!!!
4. Atlanta is number 3 when it comes to HIV/AIDS.... with the statistics showing Black women as the highest rate of new cases.... Stop letting these hoe bags play with your life.... If you are a black woman and unmarried.... Use protection every time..... We gone stop this miscellaneous disease one good decision at a time!!!
5. With all the women that Stevie is or has allegedly banged, during the show he can probably still get it from 2 in 3 women..... So why would he stop his antics if he is getting the result he wants?
Finally, the show LHHA is fun to watch for shock value, but these are real people with real families and friends...... and I don't know if there is a paycheck worth being exploited for... For 5 minutes I felt sorry for the women in the cast, but then I remember that they are getting a fat check for this mess, so WHATEVER HONEY!!!
That's all I have to say about that.......
Love, Peace and Comic Relief
The Witty Witness <3
After arriving I was pleasantly surprised at the vibe of the crowd, the staff and the shows hosts, who were all super cool and great fun to interact with.... To my utmost pleasure, the topic of the show was "Should you tell if you catch a friend's significant other cheating?" Now if this wasn't a juicy enough topic..... The guests for the evenings panel discussion were none other than the infamous Karlie Redd, and the (contrary to LHHA) very dainty & sophisticated Mimi Faust, as well as the Ying Yang twins.... In an effort to not spoil the Monday night viewing parties that we have all grown to enjoy... I'll tell you what I have learned from those ladies and men in a nutshell.
Mimi shared that, when taping the show, she was not always privy to what was going on with others on the show. The misconception is that they are allowed to preview the show before it hits the tv, but they don't. They actually watch it every Monday night like everyone else..... so although she knows what she knows about her dude.... She didn't know as much as we felt she did at the time.... Hell Monday's are a trip for her to watch too!
She was asked was the perfect picture of "Stebie's" photogenic penis an accurate depiction of what he's working with... and in the tradition of any properly raised woman she deflected the answer and said something unrelated to the question..... (side-eye),
She was asked has she let the man cheat on her for 15 years... She said, they were long distance for a period of their relationship, in the same household for 4years or so, and the man that she knew and loved wasn't the dude that we see today "puttin on for the camera". (I don't know if I buy that completely)
I asked her personally ( yep I did) now that she is seeing the A ( Atlanta) from a new perspective, does she want to remain in our city and her answer was Yes.... She thinks that it is a great place to live and raise her daughter. ( I still think that she should reconsider..... I suggest, a state marriage and family friendly, unless of course she moves to Augusta or Columbus like Stebie suggested, when he bought her that crib on the SC border...
My verdict on Mimi: I like her, she says, she has no regrets about doing the show... You live and you learn. To me her story was Good Girl, falls for semi-bad boy who made some money and lost his damn mind.... She is no dummy by a longshot, beautiful woman, with a cool vibe, just made her choices.... and allowed a camera to chronicle the tail end of a romance gone wrong! ( She is brave, much more than I would be)
Karlie Redd- Man where do I start, She appeared to be a pretty messy person, but in a innocent kind of way.... her problem, even last night is that she talks tooo much. I don't know that you can last in an industry like hip hop with a big mouth. Loose Lips still sink ships, and although LHHA makes it look like she is manipulative and makes "Titanic" iceberg size comments, I think she might be the scape goat cause she won't be quiet.... As my grandma use to say " when you talk alot baby, people don't won't you around them." Karlie can learn alot from my grandma.... lol
BTW: She said she never slept with her boyfriend Antonio Reid ( after year long courtship).... But she knocked off Benzino( after a what a day or two) and he is just ok..... ( he quickly called in to the show to get that record set straight LOL).... I just hope at her age all of this mess is worth it.... Cause being clowned regularly, alledgedly screwing for studio time and wearing booty pads gotta be hard for a lady in her 40's..... (side eye, but you are "bout that life" LMAO)
Ying Yang Twins... I don't know who is Ying or who is Yang, but one of them needs an IEP with 10 hours a week of speech, I was like WTH are you saying my brothers? Can you sing that ish or put it in a hook? Cause your English is "non-existent" I said now they are taking this Zone 3 sh1t to another level.... ( Side eye and 1 phrase Rosetta Stone- Ying Yang edition) But I bet the new CD will be "FIE" LOL
Kandi was a awesome host, she was cool, down to earth, very pretty in person and has a cool panel around her on the show so kudos to you Ms. Kandi for doing what you do....
What I have learned:
1. You can't every judge a book by it's cover, Reality TV is the phoniest sh1t out!
2. Stevie J is proof positive that the quote " Don't raise you voice, improve your argument." works...... Men, are creatures of habit, they do what works."
3. Ladies...for every Mimi there is a Joseline.... You can't out race a female for a man.... There is new competition turning 18 everyday.....So if he hasn't decided that he wants you and you alone..... there isn't a damn thing you can do to change that.... Save your face and your rep.... let it go!!!
4. Atlanta is number 3 when it comes to HIV/AIDS.... with the statistics showing Black women as the highest rate of new cases.... Stop letting these hoe bags play with your life.... If you are a black woman and unmarried.... Use protection every time..... We gone stop this miscellaneous disease one good decision at a time!!!
5. With all the women that Stevie is or has allegedly banged, during the show he can probably still get it from 2 in 3 women..... So why would he stop his antics if he is getting the result he wants?
Finally, the show LHHA is fun to watch for shock value, but these are real people with real families and friends...... and I don't know if there is a paycheck worth being exploited for... For 5 minutes I felt sorry for the women in the cast, but then I remember that they are getting a fat check for this mess, so WHATEVER HONEY!!!
That's all I have to say about that.......
Love, Peace and Comic Relief
The Witty Witness <3
Thursday, April 26, 2012
10 things that most teachers think but could NEVER say!
Have you ever wondered how teachers manage to keep a straight face after meeting with some of today's parents? Well here is a glimpse into what (I heard) they are really thinking.... Enjoy!
1. Stop coming to your kids school at 7:30 in the morning bumping the uncut version of Lollipop! We get it, you got a system, but everybody doesn't allow their children to hear such words, so cut it out!!!
2. Stop trying to flirt with all of the young teachers trying to convince us that Gucci designs a velour jogging suit! Especially when the G's have faded off of the ass part! # FAIL
3. Stop painting your cars with products and services that don't pay you to advertise for them! That's stupid and you can't EVER trade that in for more than $100. That's all... pull that circus out of the car riders line please!!
4. If I ask do you have a pen to sign paperwork, don't pull out your money!!! Stop Flexin Fabo!!
5. If you are over 50 or if YOU LOOK LIKE you are over 50 I am gonna need for you not to wear 5 different colors on your toes! two more in your hair and gold teeth, you look slow makes me worry about child safety!
6. Screen the pictures you let the kids put on the family tree poster! There is nothing worse than you putting up a picture and your house is filthy in the background and Uncle Chuck 'nem getting high!
7. Stop wearing those hospital bracelets a week after you are discharged, trying to get the attendance clerk to feel sorry for you!!! Don't nobody care no mo'!!
8. Field Day is for the kids, stop bringing your whole squad to the school and making it a neighborhood block party!
9. Stop naming your kids these names that they can't spell until 9th grade... Jaqueashanesia Vontravious is too much!!!
10. Stop coming to your kids school in your gown, leggings and Jordans and Silk Cap, screaming to the staff, y'all muthaf$$$$$ think I'm crazy or something, I know my chile is smart! Y'all just jealous cause I send him here FRESH everyday..... GUHL BYE!
1. Stop coming to your kids school at 7:30 in the morning bumping the uncut version of Lollipop! We get it, you got a system, but everybody doesn't allow their children to hear such words, so cut it out!!!
2. Stop trying to flirt with all of the young teachers trying to convince us that Gucci designs a velour jogging suit! Especially when the G's have faded off of the ass part! # FAIL
3. Stop painting your cars with products and services that don't pay you to advertise for them! That's stupid and you can't EVER trade that in for more than $100. That's all... pull that circus out of the car riders line please!!
4. If I ask do you have a pen to sign paperwork, don't pull out your money!!! Stop Flexin Fabo!!
5. If you are over 50 or if YOU LOOK LIKE you are over 50 I am gonna need for you not to wear 5 different colors on your toes! two more in your hair and gold teeth, you look slow makes me worry about child safety!
6. Screen the pictures you let the kids put on the family tree poster! There is nothing worse than you putting up a picture and your house is filthy in the background and Uncle Chuck 'nem getting high!
7. Stop wearing those hospital bracelets a week after you are discharged, trying to get the attendance clerk to feel sorry for you!!! Don't nobody care no mo'!!
8. Field Day is for the kids, stop bringing your whole squad to the school and making it a neighborhood block party!
9. Stop naming your kids these names that they can't spell until 9th grade... Jaqueashanesia Vontravious is too much!!!
10. Stop coming to your kids school in your gown, leggings and Jordans and Silk Cap, screaming to the staff, y'all muthaf$$$$$ think I'm crazy or something, I know my chile is smart! Y'all just jealous cause I send him here FRESH everyday..... GUHL BYE!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Before you slip those sandals on.... Let's cover the basics!!!!
As I reflect over the 88 degree weather that we experienced in the Atlanta area on yesterday, a few thoughts came flooding into my mind. These thoughts primarily took me on a journey through a very painful experience that happens to me each year which is being a witness to the "Crunchy Heel & Disgusting Toe Nail Length Syndrome"... Some of you may have been so fortunate as to have not ever seen or experienced these syndromes, but that has not been my pleasure. So in an effort to reduce CH/DTNL syndromes all over the world, I will be providing you with today's in-service......
Please feel free to share these helpful tips with friends, family or sufferers!!!!
Blog Vocabulary
Crunchy Heel- This occurs when the sides, back and bottom of your feet appear to have ruffles. This layered or ruffled look comes in many colors, degrees and levels of disgust.
Ruffles- Appears to be layers of crust on the bottom and sides of the foot, often whiter in the ruffle then on the edges. These ruffles also form neat patterns akin to the annual rings on a tree and signify how long its been since that broad even washed her feet!!!!!
Soft speckled white w/4 or less ruffles- means you just need a pedicure and some lotion. Maybe you are in between pay periods and are just running low on supplies, so handle that. *It may also be helpful to do the Vaseline and sock thing 3 nights a week.* Tip pedicurist 10% for her troubles!!
Pure White w/5-7 ruffles- means its been about 6 weeks with no real foot care, no pedicure, no lotion, no nothing... At this stage, the victim has generally torn at least 1 pair of hose, scrapped spouse, snagged the sheets and socks also stick to the creases of her foot. * Get a deluxe pedicure, and do the Vaseline sock thing 7 days a week for 3 weeks or until soft supple texture returns.* Tip pedicurist 20% for her troubles!!
Gray/Black w/8 or more ruffles- See a Podiatrist 1st, to ensure no infection has set in. 2nd burn all shoes worn prior to podiatric medicine appointment. Burn all ripped linens and socks. At this juncture, you have made at least 30 people roll their eyes at you and 7 have thrown up in their mouths... You are also called by names such as "trifling, nasty, lazy, mess etc...." *After clearance from your physician, and a complete cycle of the recommended meds, get a pedicure, 1x a week for 4 weeks, then every 2 weeks for 4 more weeks and than as needed... You are banned from sandals until your follow up podiatrist visit and must do monthly foot welfare checks until deemed fit for independent care!!! Also be prepared to Tip pedicurist 40% for her troubles!!
Exhibit A ( Please note excessive ruffling)
DTNL Syndrome- signaled by toe nails that are over 2 inches thick, dark grey/brown or green, curving in unnatural ways, ripping hose or scrapping the concrete as you walk!! Causing another to need a Tetanus Shot after contact with your feet!!! See Psychiatrist ( to discuss underlying reasons for this situation) and Podiatrist for further instructions cause....... I just can't!!!!
BTW: You may also be discussed negatively in Vietnamese, Mandarin, Korean, Laos, and Ebonics!!
Now that we have all of the descriptions out of the way... The bottom line is this: at this stage in the season (First day of Spring) Give yourself a quick check, glance quickly at your feet and be honest with yourself.... Have I adequately prepared for sandals???? I know that the unseasonably warm weather caught many of us by surprise, but I would rather you wear boots or closed- toes shoes with integrity and pride and be a little warm, then sandals and be very offensive and embarrassed!!!
If you fall in the latter mentioned categories and know that your feet need work, START today and make a decision to fix your feet or fore go wearing sandals until you can fix your feet!!!
If you have a friend, that is in violation of the CH/DNTL syndrome, gently push them to get a pedicure, or an exfoliation kit for their feet, Hell buy them one as a gift!!! Make not so suttle hints about the neighborhood Podiatrist or the Foot Sloughing Cream you bought Auntie Viola and how well that worked on her Level 99 feet!!! I think that as Americans we have all been through enough, and this syndrome is just one more hurdle that we have to face, but we will OVERCOME, one pedicure at a time.... And with your help, the healing and vomit reduction can begin today!!!
Love, Peace, and Comic Relief! Tameka
Please feel free to share these helpful tips with friends, family or sufferers!!!!
Blog Vocabulary
Crunchy Heel- This occurs when the sides, back and bottom of your feet appear to have ruffles. This layered or ruffled look comes in many colors, degrees and levels of disgust.
Ruffles- Appears to be layers of crust on the bottom and sides of the foot, often whiter in the ruffle then on the edges. These ruffles also form neat patterns akin to the annual rings on a tree and signify how long its been since that broad even washed her feet!!!!!
Soft speckled white w/4 or less ruffles- means you just need a pedicure and some lotion. Maybe you are in between pay periods and are just running low on supplies, so handle that. *It may also be helpful to do the Vaseline and sock thing 3 nights a week.* Tip pedicurist 10% for her troubles!!
Pure White w/5-7 ruffles- means its been about 6 weeks with no real foot care, no pedicure, no lotion, no nothing... At this stage, the victim has generally torn at least 1 pair of hose, scrapped spouse, snagged the sheets and socks also stick to the creases of her foot. * Get a deluxe pedicure, and do the Vaseline sock thing 7 days a week for 3 weeks or until soft supple texture returns.* Tip pedicurist 20% for her troubles!!
Gray/Black w/8 or more ruffles- See a Podiatrist 1st, to ensure no infection has set in. 2nd burn all shoes worn prior to podiatric medicine appointment. Burn all ripped linens and socks. At this juncture, you have made at least 30 people roll their eyes at you and 7 have thrown up in their mouths... You are also called by names such as "trifling, nasty, lazy, mess etc...." *After clearance from your physician, and a complete cycle of the recommended meds, get a pedicure, 1x a week for 4 weeks, then every 2 weeks for 4 more weeks and than as needed... You are banned from sandals until your follow up podiatrist visit and must do monthly foot welfare checks until deemed fit for independent care!!! Also be prepared to Tip pedicurist 40% for her troubles!!
DTNL Syndrome- signaled by toe nails that are over 2 inches thick, dark grey/brown or green, curving in unnatural ways, ripping hose or scrapping the concrete as you walk!! Causing another to need a Tetanus Shot after contact with your feet!!! See Psychiatrist ( to discuss underlying reasons for this situation) and Podiatrist for further instructions cause....... I just can't!!!!
BTW: You may also be discussed negatively in Vietnamese, Mandarin, Korean, Laos, and Ebonics!!
Now that we have all of the descriptions out of the way... The bottom line is this: at this stage in the season (First day of Spring) Give yourself a quick check, glance quickly at your feet and be honest with yourself.... Have I adequately prepared for sandals???? I know that the unseasonably warm weather caught many of us by surprise, but I would rather you wear boots or closed- toes shoes with integrity and pride and be a little warm, then sandals and be very offensive and embarrassed!!!
If you fall in the latter mentioned categories and know that your feet need work, START today and make a decision to fix your feet or fore go wearing sandals until you can fix your feet!!!
If you have a friend, that is in violation of the CH/DNTL syndrome, gently push them to get a pedicure, or an exfoliation kit for their feet, Hell buy them one as a gift!!! Make not so suttle hints about the neighborhood Podiatrist or the Foot Sloughing Cream you bought Auntie Viola and how well that worked on her Level 99 feet!!! I think that as Americans we have all been through enough, and this syndrome is just one more hurdle that we have to face, but we will OVERCOME, one pedicure at a time.... And with your help, the healing and vomit reduction can begin today!!!
Love, Peace, and Comic Relief! Tameka
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
So what you trying to say is???? I'm not a "Chreestian" if I don't pass your picture along..... Yeah right!!!
Chreestian- pronounced just like it's spelled... a parody of the real word Christian. It means church folk, primarily bench members who attend church from time to time but not really into the politics of church... i.e. CME, Funerals, and for the Black History Program.
Bench Members- In short means: The only thing I come to church to do is sit down, listen and dip! These members usually sit on the last 6 rows for easy exit in the event that the service runs too long or they collect too many offerings!
CME- Christmas, Mother's Day, and Easter , not to be confused with the denomination; this is usually the only time these Chreestians attend church.
Fune- The dialectical way some old folks and young ones too, in the black community pronounce funeral.
Honey Boom- That means, I don't care one way or the other so get out of my face with that mess.
Laid Away Nice- Serves as a description of how good of a job the family and funeral home did in dressing their loved one for their final departure (this comment is also followed by a turned down lip and a head nod).
Whoooa Yes/Boy- That means I just got happy!!
Getting Happy- What southern black women call shouting or crying in church or on the phone or at the funeral..... Just depends on who you ask!
Cue My Music- This term means I can hear the organ rift and the drums in my ear that encourage you to shout for 30 minutes or until your feet and knees start hurting, at which point you can just bow your head and bounce slowly and shake your arms loosely until you pass out!!!
OK! Now that we got those house keeping items out of the way.....
Do you see the above listed picture!!!!! There is nothing that gets my knee hi's in a roll like these pictures on Facebook! I mean granted I get it! You love Jesus.... and so do I, but why is it that my love is based on whether or not I press the share button on Facebook or not Honey Boom you Bench Members kill me, LOL!!!!
There is nothing more disturbing then logging on to my news feed and seeing about 4 of these pictures. You know the ones that make you feel like a loser or a sinner if you don't click SHARE??? I mean WTH????? I don't know about you (Mr. and Mrs. Sainty Pants) but my "Chreestian" friends will put you but on blast and say something like " Y'all Facebook Preachers and Pastors kill me with this" etc...... if you share too many links so in the interest of not getting blasted, I decline!
Further, I don't even think Jesus looks like this.... I think that this guy favors Bo Duke, from the Dukes of Hazzard, so please stop trying to make me think he looks like this..... I personally just can't do this one!!!!!! Generally, CME's and Bench Members are responsible for passing these pictures around..... I suspect that after a night of hell raising they get up glad that the Lord let them live and they think sending out the above mention pictures with the "IF YOU FEEL AS GUILTY OR AS HOLY AS I DO, SHARE THIS LINK/MESSAGE." Well from my heart to yours, Honey Boom x2...
I ain't never heard nobody at the "fune"say, well I know she/he went to Heaven cause they sent out at least 200 of those I love Jesus post on Facebook! IJS......
So the next time you get one of these pictures and start worrying about your salvation or how Chreestian you are for chooing to not send it..... Say to yourself Honey Boom, I ain't finna let these heathens worry me.... In the words of my Granny... Last time I checked, "Yeen got no Heaven or Hell to put me in" Delete!!! Whhhhoooooooooaaa BOY!! I feel like I just gave somebody a release!!!! Y'all done let me get happy this early the morning!!!! Cue my Music......
Peace Love and Comic Relief, Tameka
Monday, March 12, 2012
Welcome Witnesses!!!
Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. ~Author Unknown
Drum roll please........The moment we have all been waiting for....... The Witty Girl Memoirs.....
Now you may be asking why are you starting a blog? Aren't there enough of them out there? Everyone has an opinion about everything... and now here you go adding your .02 cents!!! Well you are right, there are plenty of blogs out there...and they all seem to be unique.... But as my friends always say... "Can't nobody do me, better than I can do me; so honey.... let's do this."
Truthfully, I owe this risk/blog to my FB friends who honestly, got tired of me filling up their news feeds, with my shaningans (yep, I said it) and their solution was that I start a blog, so against my own will, here I am!!!
A little about me, I am Tameka S. King a true Alabama girl, who was originally born in KY. I hung out there for about 3 days before I realized, KY wasn't hitting on a thang so at 3 days old I packed my Enfamil, diaper bags (Gucci) and some fresh Onesies and headed to Alabama (Yeah I know, shut up!!!). I am good and proud to be from Alabama and I shout the homestead out every time I get a chance!!! If you get the notion to clown my home state, just know you have been WARNED!!! In the words of Jeezy ( well not so exact words, but you get it)" I put on for my state."
I have been a resident of Atlanta, Ga for 16 years and I love this place too! There is a ton of stuff left here for me to discover so I look forward to hanging out with Marlo and Kim (RHOA) so they can put me on to where the real players kick it at $$$$$$$$ (yeah it's nice but it ain't cheap)!!!
I attended undergrad and grad school here, CAU Alum ('99), UGA Alum ('01) , West Georgia Alum ('07) and every time those student loan payments kick in, I attend school again!!! Don't Act !!!! After this last deferment ends I will be attending a College or University near you!!!! Well unless I meet Marlo and Kim for real... Then I will just be a "Real House Hustler of Atlanta" LOL!
So I know you are saying get to the point!!! So here is the point: I love life and just about everything that happens in it! The good, the bad and the ugly!! Some say I have an interesting perspective on things and that I have a unique ability to help people see the sunny side of everything! My motto is "if we lived through it, lets laugh about it and if you learned something from it, share the lesson with someone else".....
Here are the rules: ( So simple but one of y'all gone buck anyway)
1. It's my blog, so I will write what I want to, and if you don't like it kick rocks :-)
2. I will not always use scholarly language when I write, I am fluent in sarcasm, and country and I enjoy using both languages in my writings!! Makes for good reading....
3. If you have something that you want me to talk about, let me know....
4. Tell your friends and your family help me spread the smiles.....
5. I don't have a set time to post these blogs so don't start worrying my nerves about posting... I do work for a living.....
6. Most things will be funny and everything will have a meaning, so if it misses you one day, try back later!
7. Enjoy yourself... We only pass this way once!!!
My job on this blog is to make memories, make mention and on the rare occasion make you weak "bladdered" one's piss your pants!!! Hey it is what it is... Nevertheless I am Looking forward to it all!
So join me on this journey through my brain and my blog and let's make this thang do what it do!!!
Love, Peace and Comic Relief, Tameka
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